How To Fix A Marriage
Why do marriages break? Lots of reasons really. Ineffective communication, money problems, loss of trust, infidelity, loss of respect, physical separation, emotional distance, and loss of trust are the most common. But how can you fix a broken marriage? There are three main steps.
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Communication
All relationships are built on communication. It’s the bedrock foundation that keeps relationships safe and solid and secure. What happens when a building’s foundation crumbles? It falls down. And that’s exactly what happens when a relationship’s foundation — communication — crumbles. No relationship can survive without rock-solid communication. Communication builds sharing and trust. And they keep a relationships fresh and healthy and strong enough to handle any stress.
Everybody talks about communication, but what is it really? It’s not just chatting or texting or email or FaceBooking any random thought that comes into your head. And it’s not about phoning somebody when you’re bored. That’s not communication. That’s using people for your own selfish needs.
Real communication is about THEM. It’s about listening — not talking — really listening to what your partner needs to express. When you’re really communicating, you’re listening… and helping… and supporting… and forgetting all abut YOU. When you can do that… you have real communication that can weather any storm. And communication that can fix a broken marriage.
Counseling
Communication is critical to fix a marriage, but often it’s not enough. Often, we’re too caught up in the daily stresses and frustrations and problems that we lose sight of the big picture. We need an ousider — a professional, unbiased listener — who can listen and give us perspective.
When we’re struggling to fix a marriage, we obsess about the problems… and forget the good times… and why we fell in love with our spouse. And we magnify every annoyance… every tiny peeve… until they look like catastrophes. And then we over-react and focus on divorce as the only solution.
That’s all very common. When we’re drowning in a swamp with crocodiles all around us, it’s tough to enjoy the sunset. But that’s exactly what we need to do. And that’s why we need a counselor to give us advice and perspective to help us fix our broken marriage.
Moving Forward
Finally, we need to move forward. Don’t obsess about past problems and frustrations and hurt feelings… get on with your life… keep moving. That’s tough advice, but essential. Children can’t let go of petty problems. But adults can — and must — be stronger than that. Keep moving. Keep growing. Keep living life to the max. Keep adding value to your partner’s life. If your partner enjoys life more with you than without you… that’s the surest way fix a broken marriage for life.
